Chapter Thirty

Not wanting to cook and knowing that there wasn’t anything there to cook anyway, Kelleigh swung into one of her favorite places, an old fashioned drive-thru. To her relief, it was on the opposite side of town from the cemetery. Out of sight, her role has grieving widow was now complete. She relaxed and let her mind empty, waiting for the young waitress to bring out her meal. Before her mind could skip over to the events of the past 24 hours, the waitress appeared with her burger.

Kelleigh drove home, parked the truck up close to the garage again and went inside. She ate at the table, next to the textbook that she no longer needed. She had brought in her certificate and propped it up on the table where she could see it. She felt a sense of accomplishment that she hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever.

Finishing her meal, she found herself at loose ends. The sun was beginning to go down and she had nothing to do. Looking outside, over the patio she spotted the hot tub. “Perfect” she said aloud and turned to go change into her swimsuit.


Kelleigh sat back into the warm bubbles. She never wanted this hot tub; she felt it was an unnecessary extravagance. They had rarely used it once the shiny newness had worn off. Kelleigh could think of one hundred other ways she would have rather spent the money.
But after today, this long arduous day, she was thankful to relax into the bubbly nothingness with a glass of wine and quiet music. Today she was thankful for the extravagance.

The test had gone well. The expressions on the two men distributing the tests let her know that she had done better than they expected. The certificate showed that she knew just as much as Steve, in fact probably more as he had doubts as to whether or not he could pass the test.

Kelleigh relaxed back into the water, with her wineglass balanced on the edge of the tub. She rarely drank; in fact, she had to stop to pick up a bottle of wine on the way home. Steve kept beer in the house but she didn’t like it. Actually, Delly had drunk his last one on the night he died. But today, of all days, she wanted to just relax and attempt to forget her woes.

She was just drifting off when her cell phone rang. She jolted up, nearly spilling her wine glass. Blearily, she looked at the screen. To her relief, it wasn’t Delly. It wasn’t a number she recognized at all.

Tentatively, she answered it. After all that had transpired over the last four days, she just couldn’t guess what else could happen.

“How’d it go today?” She heard in response to her quiet “hello?”

She sighed and leaned back into the water. It was Eddie.
Kelleigh was surprised at how happy she felt hearing his voice.
“It went really, really well. Considering the day.”

“You’re okay then?”

Chapter Twenty Nine

The day had developed a comical tint to it. It began while she was choosing clothes for Steve’s funeral. All she could think as she browsed through her closet with a line from the movie Moonstruck “When you die I’ll wear a red dress and dance on your grave.” After the recent developments, it was certainly what Kelleigh felt like doing.
Instead, she chose a pair of black jeans, black boots, and a red sweater. She wasn’t going to dress up for Steve; she felt that her mere appearance was sufficient at this point. The fight, the revelations - all of them- weighed on her as she dressed for her test in jeans and a sweatshirt.

At this point, she was going to the funeral out of obligation more than mourning. Perhaps someday she would feel sadness but not now. Right now, she was simply pissed. at everyone, including herself.

Then the humor of the day continued with her little concert while she finished the mechanics test.

Afterward she ducked into the bathroom in the lobby of the college to change into her “funeral clothes”. She walked in a grease monkey and came out looking fabulous, if she did say so herself. As she left the building, she spotted the test examiner and waved. Again she received raised eyebrows and she giggled.

Kelleigh was in high spirits and she knew it was wholly inappropriate, considering her next destination.

She pulled into the funeral home parking lot; feeling like it had been months since she’d last been there. In fact, it had only been a day. She noticed with chagrin a long black limousine parked behind the black hearse. It was a stark reminder of why she was here. It also reminded her that she didn’t belong. As Steve’s widow, she should have been in that limousine. Instead, she was driving herself. Thinking about it, she realized she was relieved. She was not the grieving widow.

Conversation stilled, ever so slightly as she walked in the lobby of the home. Searching the crowd, she realized that she had no one waiting for her. Her husband, she nearly choked on the word, was the reason she was here. Her family wasn’t here and Steve’s family certainly didn’t consider her their responsibility. As it were, even Delly wasn’t a welcome sight. Having spotted her in the crowd, she held her hand up to indicated “stop” when Delly made a gesture to approach her.

Kelleigh walked through the lobby, ignored the guest book and picked up a program. She slid it into her purse and then went into the room. It was only here that the reality of the situation hit her. At the front of the room was a large picture of Steve smiling at the camera. It was the first time she had “seen” him since before the accident. It was like a punch to the stomach. While she hated him fiercely right now, there was a time that she loved him enough to marry him.
She looked away from the photograph just to catch a glimpse of the casket. Of course, the family had chose to have an open casket. Kelleigh would have never chosen that. She preferred to remember her loved ones the way she last saw them, not as they were dead. She looked away and tried to find someplace inconspicuous to sit. As the widow, she should have a seat front and center, but she doubted that Steve’s family gave her that consideration. Instead, she chose to sit toward the front but on the end of the aisle, as far away from the comings and goings as she could.

Strangely, no one approached her. Even as the seats began to fill, no one sat beside her. It was just as well. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She kept her hands folded in her lap and concentrated on the sunlight that shone through the stained glass windows.

Mercifully the service began and she could focus on that instead of feeling like an outcast. There was a priest, which Kelleigh found humorous. Steve hadn’t set foot in a church since they were married, and hadn’t been in one before that since his Christening. But the priest spoke kindly about Steve, as if he knew him.

The service ended quickly enough. There was a hymn sung that Kelleigh didn’t recognize and then she watched as Steve’s friends hefted the casket and walked it solemnly out to the hearse. The crowd slowly followed them out into the sun. Kelleigh stayed back, away from the crowd. It just didn’t feel right to her to participate. She was beginning to feel like a ghost, as if no one saw her there.

She felt a slight tap on her shoulder and felt simultaneously relieved and annoyed. As much as she wanted to be invisible, it was painful to seem as such. Turning, she was disappointed to see Sid there. To his credit, it looked as if he’d been crying for days. Kelleigh’s heart broke a little for him. Steve, for all his flaws, had always been close to his brother.

“Kelleigh, I’m glad you came but I have to tell you: Mother doesn’t want you at the graveside service.”

Nonplussed, Kelleigh just nodded. “Fine, Sid, whatever you want.”

Sid looked surprised but didn’t continue. Kelleigh turned on her heel and walked out. She marched past the mourners gathered around the hearse and got into her truck. She watched as Sid gathered his mother and steered her to the limousine. Once they were inside the car, the hearse slowly pulled away and the crowd began to disperse to their cars. Kelleigh watched as the mourners left then started the truck and drove toward home. She didn’t spot Delly in the crowd, but then she just wasn’t looking for her either.

Chapter Twenty Eight

The next morning, she woke up with determination steeling her spine. She refused to consider anything beyond the task at hand. Get up. Get showered. Brush her teeth. Eat breakfast. Step by little step she worked her way through the morning.
She drove to the school and walked in with a purpose in her step. She did anything and everything she could to keep everything that happened in the past few days tucked in the corner of her brain. She couldn’t deal with it right now.

She found the classroom and signed in. There were only instructors there; no other students had arrived yet. Kelleigh was relieved; she wanted to arrive before everyone else so that she wasn’t the focus of attention any more than she already would be.

Only a handful of others arrived. About four men total. Mostly younger men and they, thankfully, didn’t seem to take much notice of her. Kelleigh just kept her head down and tried to keep her mind blank until the test began.

The first part of the test was written and multiple choice. This she breezed through easily and was thankful for the past few nights she spent studying. She finished before most but waited in her seat, not wanting to draw attention to herself. She took this time to study the test and wonder which task would be hers to diagnose and repair.
That was the second step of the test: a diagnosis and repair of a common automotive problem. She had no idea what the problem was until she was handed a key to the car.

She felt more nervous about this task than any of the others. She was certain she could pass the written test, as she had always been good at school. She usually tested easily, regardless of the topic.

She wasn't quite as confident at showing her hands-on skills. Most of what she had learned had been handed down through her grandfathers and brother. Steve hadn't bothered to really teach her anything but she learned all the same at his side, despite his efforts, or lack thereof.

They went out into a large garage where five older cars sat in a row. Taking a key ring from a box, she went to the car the instructors indicated. With straining confidence, she opened the door of the car and sat down. To her relief, it was just like the first car she had ever driven. She was at least familiar with the physical aspects of the car, if not the mechanical.

With a deep breath, she slid the key into the ignition and turned. All she could hear was a clicking sound. She put her foot on the brake, made sure the car was in park and turned the key again. Giving it a little gas the next time and still not able to start it, she was certain it was an alternator. The lights and radio worked but the car would not start so it wasn't the battery. The clicking sound showed that the starter was working. It had to be the alternator.

She got back out of the car and walked to the examiner. "It's the alternator"
He frowned for a moment, which gave Kelleigh some pause. In her mind, she scrolled through the options again. She was certain that it was the alternator. After what seemed like hours, the examiner finally nodded. "Can you replace it?"

This was the third part of the test, an actual repair. "Sure can" she replied smiling and attempting to be charming. It did not work. "Have at 'er" was all he said, nodding toward the car.

Turning toward the car, she did a quick inventory of what she would need. Gathering her tools from the toolbox they provided, she went to work. Replacing an alternator is usually easy but rarely fun as it is in the rear and center of the engine compartment. Kelleigh used a milk crate to stand on. If it were her own car, she would sit on the radiator or the fender but she improvised now. She ignored the examiner as she went to work. To relax she began to sing silently, starting with the Beatles. As she progressed into the task, she didn't realize that she had begun to sing aloud. She finished having sung all the Beatles songs she knew and now had entered into show tune territory. She realized her impromptu choral concert as she went to start the car. She wanted to curl under the car in embarrassment. One glance at the clock made her refocus quickly. She only had an hour until Steve's memorial.

Jumping in the car, she turned the key with a little prayer. It started and ran smoothly. Feeling pleased with herself, she patted the dashboard. "Good girl. Thank you, car, for starting." She shut off the car and smiled.

She hopped out and returned to the examiner, who was regarding her with eyebrows raised. "Well, you did it, little girl, and singing the whole way. You'll make an entertaining mechanic, if nothing else." He signed the test and a certificate and handed it to her. She thought she detected a little bit of a smile.

Kelleigh grinned in response, shook his hand with her greasy one and nearly skipped out of the shop. She accomplished her goal and now was onto finish a chapter of her life.

Chapter Twenty Seven

Kelleigh leaned against the workbench. She was tired; she had never been this tired. All she wanted was to crawl into bed. She had the suspicion that if she did that; it would be days before she would get out. Hiding out simply wasn't an option.

She went into the house, determined to do something. The problem being she had no idea what to do. The discovery of Becky left her feeling empty, helpless. Steve had apparently not just cheated on her but fathered a child as well. He left money for Becky and probably the child. With Steve's death, it was as if her marriage had never existed. It certainly seemed like it hadn't to Steve. Kelleigh wondered why he even bothered staying married.

With the discovery of the child, Kelleigh decided not to go through the probate system to try to secure the money in the bank. With a child involved, it just wouldn't be right. No matter how much she hated Steve at this moment, she couldn't take money from the child. In fact, she wasn't sure that if the child didn't exist she would fight for the money. It simply didn't seem worth the effort. Kelleigh reached for the cell phone to call the bank when it rang.

This time she looked at the display before answering it. It was Delly, finally calling her back.

"Delly! Where have you been? You won't BELIEVE what I found out today!"

The story burst out of her in a deluge of words; starting with the bank and ending with seeing the little boy. She felt purged when she finished, like the air being let out of a balloon, the pressure on her chest lightened.

Delly was quiet on the other end. “Delly?”

“Wow, Kel, that’s amazing. I can’t believe it.” Delly didn’t sound right.

“Del, what’s wrong? You don’t sound okay. Has something happened?”

Again, there was quiet. “Delly? What’s going on?” The pressure in Kelleigh’s chest was returning.

“Well, I had heard rumors but they were just rumors so I didn’t pay attention to them. He was your husband and I didn’t want to interfere…” her words trailed off.

“Delly, what the hell are you talking about?”

Again, there was a pause. “I had heard that Steve had a son. It sounded so absurd that I didn’t give the rumor any thought. But the timing and the description is about right. Kel, I’m sorry but I think you’re right. I think that’s Steve’s kid”

Now it was Kelleigh’s turn to be silenced. Finally, she blew out a breath. “Delly, you knew, didn’t you?”

“But that’s just it: I didn’t KNOW, I just heard rumors and…” Kelleigh interrupted her: “DELLY! You knew! You KNEW something was going on and you didn’t tell me! Rumors or not, you should have told me! You’re my friend!”

Delly persisted “Kelleigh, I didn’t know for sure. Steve never said anything. But I heard his friends talk and when I saw him driving her car…” Kelleigh didn’t hear anything beyond that. “Delly, I’m hanging up. I can’t talk to you about this right now.” She clicked her cell phone shut and heaved it onto the couch. She was mad enough to throw it but not stupid enough to break it, as much as she wanted to. As it bounced against the cushion, it flipped open and rang. Kelleigh saw the display showing it was Delly. Picking it up, she turned it off and set it down. Turning, she went over to the regular telephone and shut it off too. She wanted to be alone, and alone she was. Steve was gone and now she felt betrayed by Delly as well. Everything was changed.